My First Teacher

 I stopped posting to this blog at the end of 2016.  You see, 2016 was very 2020ish for me.  Towards the end of that year, I lost several dear friends of mine to various illnesses-sickle cell anemia and leukemia among them.  The biggest, most shattering loss that I suffered that year came four days before Christmas, when my sister and I each held one of our mother's hands and watched her take her last breaths after we removed her from life support.  Three days earlier, she had suffered a massive heart attack which had stopped her heart several times, leaving her with irreparable brain damage.  My mother had suffered from various chronic illnesses since the time that I was five years old.  I was 38 when she died.  I had made it my mission in life to heal her, to find the next great natural remedy that would ease her pain and prolong her life.  But instead, I found myself sitting in front a doctor staring blankly as he told my sister and I that there was basically nothing else that could be done for her.  My mother had emphasized repeatedly that if anything happened to her, she didn't want to be kept alive on machines.  However, it's one thing to hear that from a living, breathing person who has literally been there since birth, and quite another to be faced with the harsh reality of saying, "ok, just give up, let her go".  

But let her go we did.  I think part of my heart stopped beating with hers.  In a dazed stupor, I made a simple post to my Facebook page:  "I just lost my first teacher.  Sleep well Mama, no more pain".  My mother was my first teacher.  She taught me to read before I ever set foot into a classroom, and she instilled the love of reading in me that inspired this blog.  She even bought one of the books that I reviewed after she read about it here, her quiet way of telling me that she liked my writing.  Like many adult women and their mothers, we didn't always have an easy relationship.  At times, I felt like she dismissed my writing as just a trivial pursuit.  So for her to hold that book up and say "remember this?  I read it on your blog"......well, you might as well have handed me a Pulitzer Prize and a MacArthur grant in the same day.  The teacher finally approved of the student.  

So in this year of change, of pandemic, of lockdown, of protest, I think it's time that I come out of hibernation and start writing seriously again.  It's time for the student to begin her assignments again.  It's time for my heart to beat again.  

Review of Living Again by L.L. Collins

Collins, L. (2013). Living Again.

Living Again is the debut novel of self-published author L.L. Collins.  When I chose to review this book as part of the Closed the Cover virtual blog tour, I was skeptical as to whether I could get into the storyline of a contemporary romance.  However, I  found myself easily pulled into the plot.

Life can't possibly get any better for Kayley Carson. She has a great career as a physical therapist and is married to her college sweetheart and best friend, Alex.  With a baby on the way, their future and happiness together seems totally assured.  Then one evening, Alex is late coming home from work and an ominous phone call sends Kayley's world into a tailspin.  Alex has been critically injured in a terrible car crash.  Kayley rushes to the hospital, only to be given the news that Alex has passed away.  Only weeks later, she gives birth to their daughter, who she names Alexis in memory of the father that she will never know.  Kayley enters the world of motherhood in a fog of despair and grief.  Overnight, she has gone from a happy wife and expectant mother, to a single parent facing the world without the man that she loves most.  Only the love and support of her family and friends, including her best friend Emily, allows her to rebuild some semblance of a life.  Kayley dedicates herself to raising Alexis and keeping Alex's memory alive.  Her family urges her to begin dating again, but Kayley has shut her heart off from the world.  Memories of Alex wash over her daily like the waves of the ocean on the Florida beach near her home. Then one day, she meets Dr. Ben Nichols, an emergency room pediatrician and she tentatively takes steps towards building a new relationship. However, both she and Ben must face and overcome the insecurities and pain from their past so that their new love can stand a chance.

L.L. Collins is a teacher, mother, and wife living in Florida.  Her second self-published novel will be available in the early part of 2014. Read more about her on the Author Interviews page of this blog and enter to win an ebook version of Living Again by clicking on the Contests and Giveaways tab.

Living Again is a modern love story with heavy doses of romance and sexuality.  Due to graphic lovemaking scenes, this book is recommended for mature readers only.  The story is laid out in both the present day and through a series of flashbacks.  It is very poignant and emotional, with some outright tear-jerking scenes throughout.  Vivid imagery, well-written prose and flowing dialogue make this is a worthy debut from a new author in the adult contemporary romance genre.  Living Again should definitely find its way into the hands of romance fans, while fans of other genres may not be as impressed.  On the other hand, they may be pleasantly surprised like I was.